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| A nerdy, one-sided debate about Star Wars Episode 3. |
| 07.31.04 (2:47 pm) [edit] |
Well I've already gone and ruined Episode III by peeking at a big spoiler pic of Anakin. Do you know the one I mean? It's him pre-Vader and explains why he has to put on the Vader suit. I'm going to be sad to see this series go, even if these prequels have been lame (though AOTC was a marked improvement). It's my understanding that ROTS will take place about 2 years after the events in AOTC, with Luke and Leia already born. There's a rumor that Chewbacca is the one who drops Luke off to Uncle Owen, which is the lamest thing I've ever heard if it's true. I like Chewy but it's ridiculous that he'll be in this one at all. He's just Han's co-pilot. Why would he be involved with this inter-familial story among the 4 most important people in the galaxy?
Obviously Anakin (or the emporer or someone) is going to wind up killing Amidala since we never hear from her again for the rest of the series, so hopefully she goes out with a bang. Even though most women who had just given birth to twins would probably not be able to pull off a midriff-baring shirt, I'm sure Lucas, who made Leia wear two pretzels and some dental floss in ROTJ, will not hold back for us fan geeks.
I've been looking forward to the Clone Wars DVDs since I am without cable out here in the boonies of the midwest, because they said the overall story of the cartoon series is going to be, verbatim, the text in the opening credits of ROTS. I heard they were originally going to go for a floating child with two bodyguards to be General Grievous, but George lamed out and went with the lame fish-looking robot guy. I think a weird, psychic, floating kid would be far more menacing than another special effects disaster, but oh well. Is a slow and painful death for Jar Jar too much to hope for?
It would be cool if Mark Hammil did a cameo in ROTS as like a pizza delivery guy or something. He's such an integral part of the series, it sucks they couldn't just slap a beard on him and let him answer the phone once at some point in all this. "Jedi Council, this is Dagon speaking. No, Master Yoda can't come to the hologram phone now, can I take a message?"
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| The Official Dave Matthews Blog (unauthorized) |
| 07.31.04 (12:40 pm) [edit] |
 
Today while discussing politics over a Hogi Yogi sandwich, we determined that most musicians sing as if they have a severe medical problem. For example, Thom Yorke from Radiohead dances around the stage as if he were having multiple seizures. Granted, he is a talented man but he needs some help on his dance moves. We came to the conclusion that Dave Matthews is the epidomy of talent masked by disturbing facial contortions as seen below:
    
As you can see from these pictures, it appears that he is having moments where it looks like he is passing a kidney stone, to moments of where he looks like he needs to get to a bathroom......fast, AKA explosive diarrhea followed by bouts of constipation to the point of mass bloating in the mid section that soon leads to a sweet relief..... All demonstrated on his face.
Dave Matthews is talented and pleasant to listen to, however very painful to watch.
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| mEAting people is easy |
| 07.30.04 (3:31 pm) [edit] |
i'll stay consistant with the subject of food. my topic is simple. steak. i got into a conversation last nite here on tblog with a lady who didn't eat meat to due to religious reasons. to me, meat is a religion. i would surely die without it. die of sadness. let's take a look at the common cow. it's a walking buffet. hamburger, steaks, ribs, milk. it does nothing. it's totally there to be food. i hope all those meaty products come from cows and i don't look like more of an idiot.
another big thing meat has going for it is that it's a uniter of mankind. say your pal comes over to help you move, no need to pay cash, just go out afterwards and have a steak dinner. you'll pay cash in that sense. it's likely that most of the world's problems could be solved with a $9.99 meal from sizzler. what better way to say i'm sorry/ i love you/ will you marry me?/ let's just be friends/ i don't dig you that way, man / let's have some junk - than with a piece of meat complete with baked potato and a frosty drink. ;D
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| Lego my Eggo |
| 07.30.04 (6:51 am) [edit] |
So back in April Eggs Benedict decided to do something cute and throw waffles on my balcony. [i](For those of you who watched the great TV show "Ed" will know what I am talking about, Ed did it for Carol Vessey in an episode, for those of you who never had a chance to see that show, or episode, it was a sweet and kind gesture, nothing mean). [/i]Granted, it was 11:00 p.m. and when the waffles first started hitting my balcony I had dialed 9-1 and was waiting to dial the final 1 because I had no idea what was going on. Being single and living alone has it advantages, but a serious disadvantage when you start hearing weird noises at a late hour.
Anyway, I cleaned up all the waffles the next day but kept one. I don't know what to do with it, so it just sits on my counter next to my sink. Then everyone who comes over to my house says "Why do you have an old hard waffle on your counter?" I just can't part with it, and techinically I don't think it is doing any harm, just think of it as a plant. It's not like it's really big and taking up counter space, nor is it rotting and making the apartment smell funny. Maybe the time has come where I just need to take a picture of it and say goodbye to the kind gesture.....
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| going for the gold |
| 07.29.04 (6:04 pm) [edit] |
for those of us with roommates, i'm pretty sure we all know what it's like. i've come here today to debrief you all on what's it's like if you don't know. there's mainly 3 kinds of roomies.
1. the normal quiet one who you don't talk to
2. the stupid idiot who's obnoxious and loud
3. the completely crazy person
i'll admit i've never had a completely crazy one, but from my experience i've dealt with the 2 others. the normal quiet ones have day jobs, plain girlfriends and no personality. i don't talk to em, so i can't tell you more about em. the stupid idiot ones are the ones you least suspect. you think they'll be all normal til they won't shut up talking about how rad their car is gonna be when they get it out of the shop. these people just don't understand. they don't get the clue that you hate em when you don't respond to anything they say. or you give generic wrapping up comments like "oh that sux dude. lemme know how that goes." or "oh that's cool... yeah." these idiots also are the cause of the golden roommate rules.
[u]THE GOLDEN RULES[/u]
1. Don't touch anybody else's crap. NO EXCEPTIONS
2. don't be a driveway hog.
3. get a job, don't sit at home all day watching tv
4. don't hog the tv
5. shutting up time is 10:30 pm weekdays, midnite weekends.
6. no, i don't wanna hang out with you. EVER.
7. clean up your own crap.
8. use your own freakin bathroom
9. don't hit on my company
10. If you break the rules, i'll secretly hate you forever.
ok so those are the rules. let's get some comments going here on whether or not you agree. how bout some fun roomie experiences? and no, yer not allowed to comment if yer a rule breaker :p
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| Never Before Seen |
| 07.29.04 (10:48 am) [edit] |
So today I have decided to dig deep into the vaults. The vaults include some of the early works of Land O' The Free. The following is a cartoon circa de 2001
Here's one of my original Paint drawings: It's from somewhere around 2000. It was used as a tool to demonstrate to handsome metro man boss (yet to be featured in the flesh) how I got welts that covered pretty much all of my exposed skin.
If you would like to read any of Land O' The Free's earlier ramblings I just came across a series of letters that came to me while we were playing pen palls. I think this was after we touched tounges..... That's another story though. Anyway if you would like to read some of the inner workings of a Land O' The Free I would be glad to take license and post his letters. They're funny. :lol:
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| wolf at the door |
| 07.28.04 (5:31 pm) [edit] |
today at ye old hotel of the formerly haunted, i did something fun. first, i'm saying it's not haunted anymore cuz i've totally turned it into all me. shall we ride the elevator? no! cuz it's THE MOOD ELEVATOR. can you see me in my office? you may enter upon the magic password of "step into my office, baby." and my tribute to tank, answer the phone like this "operator." the music also flows through all the rooms like the smell of all the cinammon rolls i store in my bread warmer.
back to the story, i did something cool today i've never done. i wanted to get into my supply closet but it was locked. i tried every key on my little keyring. none of them worked. i scratched my head, looked around and went totally karate kid on the door. BOOM. kicked it right in! sweet huh? and i can get away with it cuz it's my door, my watch, my building. the funny thing is that it didn't even break the frame. it just opened. i highly reccomend kicking in a door at least once in your life. karate kid influenced us all more than we'll ever know.
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| Fun with Paint |
| 07.28.04 (2:29 pm) [edit] |
Modifications:
The perfect shot:
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| Open your mouth, Cat, eat it! |
| 07.28.04 (6:51 am) [edit] |
So this should get some attention: 
Captain and his sister say that they don't feed the cat anything supplemental to kitty food, but here is a picture of the morbidly obese kitten being fed apple pie by my son. Mind you the Boy wasn't doing this on his own accord, Captain's sister gave him the fork and said to feed it to Jean Luc.
Anyway I can't think of anything to discuss other than Famke Janssen was kinda a hussy on Nip/Tuck. It was kinda rad.
Here's a quick vent: A while ago, March, I did a little body modification that I've wanted to do since my freshman year at Grand Old Dixie College. If there are any questions surrounding the modifications.... I did it for me. I like them. It was my idea. And as they say on the Jerry Springer show, "Don't Hate."
:roll:
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| Why do you have to be a heartbreaker.... |
| 07.27.04 (1:04 pm) [edit] |
So I was thinking on my way home from lunch today, "If the Bee Gees had actually kept the songs they wrote and sang them rather than writing them for other people, I wonder if they would have been more successful?" Granted, this is a ridiculous thing to be thinking about, but it was triggered by Dionne Warwick's version of "Heartbreaker" that was on the radio at the moment. For any of you who have heard the Bee Gees version, it is rare, but it is much better. So is their version of "Islands in the Stream" which they gave to Dolly Parton....
Then again, there are people like Neil Diamond who did the right thing by writing music for The Monkees. Have you heard his version of "I'm a Believer?" Let's just say if you have heard it once, you have heard it too many times.
Anyway, this all triggered a search for some Bee Gees picture, and I found this one:
I would like to know what they are going for here...Is it an urban cowboy thing? If so, Maurice missed the boat with that Charlie Chaplin hat he has going.....
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| dishing out vigilante justice, cowboy style |
| 07.26.04 (9:20 pm) [edit] |
the other day my friends and i were having a philosophical discussion about living in certain time periods. i think these talks make for some good laughs, since you have to explain yourself. the only stipulation is that you can't live in the future cuz you don't know what it's gonna be like. needless to say, my friends weren't very daring or imaginative. they both chose to live in the 70's and 80's. me, i chose living back in the old west. 1800's. it's just about right. you have buildings, some electricity, horses, and you get to dish out your own style of vigilante justice! all you have to do to get away with murder is have a half decent explanation. "he was eye ballin me." but getting thrown into jail at the sheriff's office isn't all that. everyone knows it's really easy to break out after the sheriff falls asleep at his desk, half drunk. you just have your cool, witty sidekick come bail you out. then you ride away on your horses and hope to open up a ranch someday. i'll admit, i'm a sucker for westersns and my vision of the old west is surely distorted. but if you're eye ballin me, you'd better watch it. :p
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| Episode 3: Revenge of the ill-conceived Star Wars toys |
| 07.26.04 (6:25 pm) [edit] |
OK I was in the store the other day (what a marvel these modern stores are! In my own time, a store was just a guy with a horse who traded pelts for chewing tobackee) and I came across the action figure aisle.
I was checking out all the cool action figures when I came to the Spider Man set. The action figures looked like crap (Spidey's hinges couldn't have looked more glaring if they'd been painted with glittery sparkles) but that wasn't the problem. The problem was that Spidey's toys had him paired up with a number of ridiculous items.
Why, could someone tell me, would a man who can swing from building to building and get basically anywhere, need a jet ski? Moreover, why would that same man need a helicopter and a motorcycle? In case he has to get to those REALLY hard to reach places, like the Swiss Alps? Or to jump over a line of flaming cars in the Astrodome for Monday Night Motocross as the special mystery guest?
Maybe I'm just old, but it seems to me that just being Spider Man would be cool enough that you wouldn't have to add anything. The guy can fly around everywhere and has super strength, super vision, and spider sense. Would a jet ski make him cooler? I wouldn't think so, but I'm not the nation's youth.
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| Hoobastank and the never ending misery that is it.. |
| 07.25.04 (6:01 pm) [edit] |
Since no one else is going to, we will take the initiative and blog today. It is a lovely overcast Sunday here in the valley. Today we did a small photo shoot of a fat cat and a small child to demonstrate how large the afore mentioned cat is.... To put things in perspective my (purple mountains') son weighs 29 pounds and is two and a half years old:
 The cat, and we use that term loosely, is bigger than the kid. The Boy is cute though. :wink:
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| That's a guaranteed bravo Juliet for the both of us-But where and when, Ghandi? Where and when? |
| 07.24.04 (12:18 pm) [edit] |
I, too, have nothing to do this fine Saturday afternoon. The skies are cloudy, so there's no point in going to the shore (I've decided to stop calling it 'the beach') and I don't have an interesting enough book to read these days. I've got about 10 books lying around that are only about 1/3 of the way started and completely abandoned.
Today I am neither hungry nor tired, so there's no point in taking a nap or getting something to eat. I would go out shopping, but I don't want or need anything. And I have no one to visit, being, as Neil Diamond put it, a solitary man.
So what should I do today? I could blog, but that would be a mistake, since I don't really have anything to say or anything interesting to report (but then again, have you seen the competition?). I could take a shower, but I'm not dirty. I could play with my dogs, but they always cheat. I could call someone, but everyone is at a movie.
In the end, I think I will just wander aimlessly through my house, opening and closing cupboards and re-arranging things. See you all on Monday!
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| i wanna hypnotize you on the telephone |
| 07.24.04 (10:22 am) [edit] |
greetings, what an honor it is to be writing to you on this glorius saturday, middle of the afternoon. : / i haven't much to say. i have a small phone that goes everywhere with me. i get lots of complaints about it. not because it's too loud (it actually never rings) the complaints are about how it looks. i've combined a few face plates to make the world's ugliest phone. the front would be a lovely brown wood grain, the back a bright neon green (and i've peeled away half the paint to reveal a sparkly silver.) it's quite horrendus. my friend just received a phone as payment for helping his neighbor move. he was describing it to me over my hideous phone. "it's bright red! you gotta see it!" he says. "so it's like the world war 3 phone?" i ask him. "what's that?" he replies. "it's a bright red phone that may or may not exist that sits in the president's office and it rings if world war 3 ever starts." i tell him. "oh.. i guess it's like that then."
- i didn't say my conversations were important or funny. i just tell the news. it's like the conversation another friend and i had a while back. we were discussing the incredible hulk. i know nothing about the hulk, he went and saw the movie. so i figured he could enlighten me on a few questions. "so... can the hulk die?" i ask him. he took a breath and pondered the question carefully. "not when he's the hulk." he replied. oh the memories, of course that friend has long been dead. he passed away tragically to cholera back in winter of 1771.
questions? comments? gimme a call!
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| WE'RE OUT OF WHAT? |
| 07.23.04 (10:06 am) [edit] |
[b]CAPTAIN'S BLOG---LIBERTY DATE: 104203.12[/b]
How many of ya'll have seen AIRPLANE II? Great flick...anyway, there's a scene where the space shuttle everyone's on board, is out of control, on it's way to the sun. The flight attendant, calmy, gets on the radio and explains the situation. They all seem fine about the problem. Then out of the blue, a passenger asks her if she's telling them everything. She replies, " No....We are also out of coffee." Suddenly complete chaos breaks out and everyone starts killing each other.
Working in the Hotel industry, I can honestly say this is true. I've been in sistuations where LCD projectors have broken down. The Hotel has lost merchandise of the customer. Conference calls that were late because we couldn't hook up the phone. Even in the big business meetings where the food was late and cold, they seem to react just fine as though nothing is wrong. Deny them their coffee however........ I was serving a party of 5 people....just 5 people that in a period of 4 hours went through 3 gallons of coffee. Typically I'm supposed to check on them every hour or so. Everytime I would go in, the man would stop his presentation and yell, WE NEED MORE COFFEE. The last time was the worst. I came in as usual, and checked the food. He stopped his presentation, took the time to walk over to me, got in my face with his blue, blood shot eyes, and again said...WE NEED MORE COFFEE! I was just about to reply with a colorful metaphore when I remembered I was working. What is it with people and this morning fix!
:END BLOG ENTRY :twisted:
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| TRAITOR |
| 07.23.04 (9:35 am) [edit] |
[b]CAPTAIN'S BLOG--- LIBERTY DATE: 104203.11[/b]
I bought a donut today.
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| Have a pleasant evening-I'm Ron Burgundy? |
| 07.22.04 (7:10 pm) [edit] |
Today I arrived at work at the exact same time my big boss who hates me arrived. We work on the 9th floor of our building and the morning elevator can take upwards of what seems like 3 or 4 years to reach the top, what with a person usually getting off on every single floor.
Not wanting to be stuck in the elevator making small talk for 3 to 4 years with the boss who hates me, I walked on by and took the stairs. This was kind of a mistake since she clearly saw me and started to say something, but right to the stairs I went. When I make a decision, I stick with it, come hell, high water, or slow elevators.
I realized I made a mistake around floor #3. Walking up 9 double flights of stairs (so 18 flights of stairs) is not easy, nor is it fun to do at 7 am. By floor #5, I was practically hyper-ventilating and dragging myself up the stairs. After an eternity, I made it to the top, only to step out and almost run over my boss. Impossibly, the elevator had taken that long to reach the top floor-probably everyone did get off at every floor, or held the door open for others, etc.
So when I step out of the stairs, I'm clearly exhausted, and my boss and I lock eyes and she says, quietly, 'hi,' and I wheeze back 'hhhhh' and I shuffle past her to my desk. I was caught-it was obvious that I put myself through significant, non-routine physical duress in order to not ride the elevator with her. I'm sure to win big bonus points for this escapade. The only way it could have been any worse is if:
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| you can't call me al |
| 07.22.04 (5:35 pm) [edit] |
the other day, something triggered my crappy memory. i can't remember exactly what triggered it, cuz i already said my memory is crappy. and now i've written virtually the same sentence twice in a row. anyway, it was that paul simon song "you can call me al." i remembered it had wicked bass and a wicked bass solo. there were prolly some catchy horns in there too. i was amazed to find out that this song turned out to be over 25 minutes long! it has over 12 verses and 5 solos of various instruments. that paul simon can certainly jam, can't he? but this isn't all. does everyone remember the rad video with chevy chase? yeah that was funny! when i was 5.... now it just looks like something my dad would enjoy and find cute. and i know my dad reads this, so i'm sure i'll be hearing about it in due time. i have nothing against the song or video, i happen to like both. it's just entertaining to remember how freakin short paul simon is and how hard it is to pick up sarcasm through writing. :
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| The hands that built a blog.... again. x2 |
| 07.22.04 (12:35 pm) [edit] |
Let's try this again. This will be my third attempt.... anyway, I sit at work and wonder why I can't remain focused. Mabey it's because I have strange attributes here and there. For example: This is Cesar's girlfriend and her ladybug. The ladybug was recently aquired. Cesar's girlfriend, on the other hand, was given to me in 2001 when I first moved to this store. She has moved through three offices and two stores. Someone gave her a black eye but other than that she's no worse for the wear. And: This is spaghetti squash that has sat on my desk since January. I thought it was my office mate, ron's, and he thought it was mine. So here it sat. It is now a permenant fixture, until it rots.
In searching for strange things about the office I came acrossed metro man. I took a picture but the phone is not very flattering. I'll try to feature him tomorrow because he is so darn handsome.
Oh, and look at this -  KC don't S your Ps... This is that avatar they came up with for me!?! It's naked! Naked as Kate Winslet in the one worthwhile scene in Titanic, you know the one that put the *** in TITanic... LOL Which avatar do you like best?!?
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| If you don't see me, I don't exist |
| 07.22.04 (11:01 am) [edit] |
An admirer of the blog, and dear friend, Christie, has redesigned the Liberty Belle avatar. Below is her rendering of what she thinks I should be. Everyone vote as to which one should be my colonial self portrait.
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| You can't manufacture a miracle |
| 07.22.04 (6:47 am) [edit] |
Since Eggs Benedict is always compalining that none of his pictures make it on the blog, I am doing a favor and posting a picture of his pride and joy. 34lb cat Jean Luc.
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| liberty's kids and the temple of mcgriddles |
| 07.21.04 (8:47 pm) [edit] |
on the way home from work (in horse drawn carriage, of course) i saw this giant mcdonalds sign that said "mcgriddles me" with a picture of a mcgriddle. then at the bottom of the sign it said "open til midnight or later" isn't this kinda contradicting itself? everybody knows breakfast ends at 10:30am. so why have an ad for a breakfast item then tell us to come in at midnight? this isn't even the point of the story. i'm here to say that mcgriddles might be the worst things ever invented. besides being HORRIBLY fattening and unhealthy, there's just too much going on in that thing. bacon, eggs, cheese, pancakes with syruppy goodness. TOO MUCH. i tried it one time and was sick for the whole day. oh yes, i paid.
I completely disagree-I think the McDonalds Brand McGriddle is a heavenly slice of deliciousness that is as filling as it is nutritious. One McGriddle is packed with enough energy-producing nutrients to make a champion racehorse run that extra mile, or make that gimpy jogger guy jog a little further. Why, there's nothing I would not do for a McDonalds McGriddle, including extortion and murder.
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| Lando the Free and the no good, really bad shirt. |
| 07.21.04 (1:54 pm) [edit] |
OK so today I made a horrible wardrobe choice. I bought this stupid shirt like 2 weeks ago without trying it on in the store-I held it up and it seemed like it would fit, so I bought it. I know, what could go wrong with that plan, right?
Anyway, I wore it today and it was insanely too small for me. It couldn't have been a tighter fit if you painted my chest grey and put buttons on me. I knew on the drive over to work that it was not fitting well-when I put it on in the morning, it seemed snug but 'tailored,' somehow.
Regardless, the stupid thing ruined my day. I'm not a HUGE guy but I'm slightly doughy in places, and basically the shirt made me feel like I was about 600 lbs. The buttons were pulling, and every spare molecule of flab on my body decided to migrate to my stomach and love handle regions to have a little party, just microns below the surface of my shirt for all to see every time I had to get up and go to the copier or printer.
Not a second of the day went by where I was not aware of the shirt and how uncomfortable it was. Tomorrow I vow to wear a moomoo to work to compensate. Bad, bad shirt.
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| HI, I'M AS BORING AS A COLD T.V. DINNER |
| 07.21.04 (12:07 pm) [edit] |
CAPTAIN'S BLOG---LIBERTY DATE: 104202.14
Well, whoopi dee do. Everyone has their fancy computers to post all these great pictures, and I don't. I get to use the best computer Salt Lake City Library has to offer-------------So, all those smartees out there, that don't need stimulating visuals to keep them occupied for more than 3 seconds, I kudos you. Notwithstanding, I do feel as though I should commit ritual suicide unless I can post something interesting..................hmmmmmmmmm
Oh yes, I did serve coffee to AMERICA'S MOST WANTED today. They were shooting a segment at my hotel. That's the best I can do.....someone give me a pity commet....please!
P.S. Read on, this blog is updated by 5 different people everyday!
:END BLOG ENTRY :roll:
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| Not only am I gullable... I'm uninformed... |
| 07.21.04 (8:59 am) [edit] |
I guess I'll continue using the "Panty-head" avatar until I can convince someone to fix it....
Everyone is using pictures in their entries so I thought I'd join the crowd:
This is a picture of blonde metro man boss. He is very handsome and just back from the gym. I love it when he wears his mammoth fur loin cloth on Wednesdays....
Now for a top ten:
[u]Top Ten Weird Things[/u]:
1. I hate most food but I love Sushi. Me n FF went to Ichiban once and spent $80... He doesn't even like fish but we had a lot of fun. That's what's for lunch.
2. Famke Janssen  is going to be on next weeks Nip/Tuck playing a harlot... This is exciting because it will be a return to the smut that we love Nip/Tuck for.
3. Eggs Benedict really doesn't have any huevos.
4. In recent blogs someone has spelled the F bomb with not one K but four... What an explitive...
5. I cannot spell so I will leave it to Belle to come back and edit this, not for content, but spelling.
6. They are rebuilding the first KFC ever and they are still calling it the "original KFC".
7. My avatar looks like it has big unders on it's head.... Maybe even to the point of a "Celestial Smile".
8. I have adult onset ADD. I think I've had it forever except when I was young they confused it for genius.
9. I have fallen in love with Cher all over again.
10. I've been at work all week but I don't think I've actually worked one minute....
PS... LB don't try veet on your nipples, as EB will tell you it could quite possibly hurt..... BAD.
:twisted:
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| It wasn't even real cream cheese, it was light cream cheese |
| 07.21.04 (6:45 am) [edit] |
So the marketing people got me again. Has anyone seen a commercial for this new "Veet Bladeless Razor Kit" lately? It advertises that you will have your legs stay softer and smoother for twice as long all without having to shave with a razor. Naturally, this sounded intriguing to me. I searched and searched for this product from store to store. Finally, I found it two nights ago. I figured I better try it out at night in case it was more complicated than it advertised to be. It didn't look complicated (See photo below)
First step, you lather this foam on your legs. It is supposed to stay on for 3-8 minutes. After the first 30 seconds your legs are on fire and you are biting a hole in your lip and running around your front room to keep from giving up too soon. Second you take this "bladeless razor" which is essentially a plastic squeegee molded into the shape of a razor. You remove all the foam and then rinse thoroughly. At first you think "Wow, my legs are so soft and smooth." Then you realize it only feels this way because your hands are numb from this toxic foam you have placed on your legs. Secondly, it smells like perm solution. You scrub and scrub and scrub with every washcloth and soap, but you still smell like perm solution. Captain Benedict called and suggested applying lotion to make the smell go away. Unfortunately, I had already tried this and had no luck.
Approximately 45 minutes later I finished this escapade and went to bed hoping that it's promise of "Stays smooth twice as long" would follow through. I woke up the next morning and my legs felt like Clint Eastwood's 5 o'clock shadow on a cold winter's day.
So any of you who thought at one time you would like to purchase this product, please save your $6.87 and buy yourself something sparkly with the money instead.
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| The gray fountain spray of the great Milky Way |
| 07.20.04 (1:43 pm) [edit] |
It started out as a normal day, but things turned very very...well, normal, very quickly. So nothing unusual happened to me today, the same as most every day, so I will go ahead and post my picture of the thing that is bothering me this week:
That's right, those crappy crappy import places in the malls. I hate them! They are always selling any number of Chinese/Egyptian/African/ Tibetan knock-offs that are probably made in Cleveland, and they always have like relaxing music playing, and you get in there and you're like, "oh, a Tibetan bead crystal, this will look great next to my Sphinx toothbrush holder." And before you know it, your entire home is full of crap like this that serve no purpose that you'll never ever use! I hate crappy import places.
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| What the Heck!?! |
| 07.20.04 (1:31 pm) [edit] |
Well, I guess it's my turn.... It's my maiden voyage on Liberty Skids, so I am kinda nervous... I think I may even have to pee a little so I'll be quick...
I have a very interesting buch of friends here at the work place... They enjoy forwarding e-mails. Today I got some pretty funny forwards from an outside source so I decided to forward them to a few of the work cronies. It wasn't more than five minutes before the forwards had gone through two or three people and back to me....
I guess I was added strictly based on my looks... that's all I can figure because in my portrait I have a crevice the size of the grand canyon running up my chest and I don't know how to do fancy things like paste Rod Stewart into my entry.
Anyway.... check us out, at least it'll be interesting.
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| THE CAPTAIN'S NEW STARBASE |
| 07.20.04 (12:45 pm) [edit] |
CAPTAIN'S BLOG---LIBERTY DATE: 104201.14
FIFTY, NIFTY, UNITED STATES FROM 13 ORIGINAL COLONIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh yes it is I, AXANAR, from CAPTAIN'S BLOGS. Welcome to this new blog which no doubt will change the face of tblog forever. Be of good comfort for the fact that this blog will always be changing and always new, with updates as little as every six to ten hours. Tune in tomorrow for a story from CAPTAIN EGGS BENEDICT.
Until then toodles
: END BLOG ENTRY :D
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| You should call this a Gob |
| 07.20.04 (7:37 am) [edit] |
Liberty Belle here. I agree, I hate that photo, but check out what I found from the 70's. It seems Rod Stewart is a fan of that pose.
Someone must have told him he looked hot with one hand on his hip and the other on his head.
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| Give me blog or give me death |
| 07.19.04 (8:43 pm) [edit] |
there are few things i hate in life. actually, i hate a lot of things. there's stuff like taxation without representation, getting tarred and feathered, and coincidentally i hate tea. but probably the thing i hate the most is this picture of rod stewart.
i don't really care about his music, it's not an attack on that. i just hate that picture! who stands like that? c'mon. and yes, this will be a weekly thing. hope you enjoy.
Greetings and welcome to the very first post of what will be an historic blog. The mission statement of this blog is to defend liberty, & preserve justice. What we have here is a landmark gathering of 4 of the most talented bloggers the world has ever known, and Hillary, aka Liberty Belle. Each day will bring multiple posts, and each week, a feature. Was it Kierkegard or Dick Van Patten who said "If you label me, you negate me?" I don't know, but I do know this: I really hate that Rod Stewart picture, too.
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