i remember vowing with my brother a few years back that'd we'd never shop at a place with "barn" in the title. even if it's the "cool barn." we still wouldn't go. i just had to say that random thing. but that reminds me of another random conversation i had with my best friend once. we were talking about the rock band MUSE (yes, they're the best live band in the world) and we were wondering what would happen to muse if they crash landed a spaceship on another planet, inhabited by crazy alien life. we came to the conclusion that muse would rock their way back to earth, hitting all the hip alien clubs on the way, earning money to buy a spaceship to come back. They'd have all these cool alien influences in their songs too, new and improved, though they couldn't get much better.

as the days go by, i feel i'm getting more paranoid, more than most normal people. i was told that everyone's paranoid, sure lotsa people think everyone is talking about them or laughing at them at the office or school or whatever, but i might take things a little too far. the other day, i was driving to lunch, when this big white van with 2 shifty looking guys in it passes me, going in the opposite direction. the van says like "INSULATION" on it. i think it's kind of weird, but just laugh cuz it just LOOKED like a stake out van. i go to lunch for a half hour, and on my way back, i see this van parked on the side of the road, like they're waiting for someone. i think it's pretty weird, cuz ya know, wouldn't they be at their job by now? i pull into work and go back inside, relieved that i'm out of sniper range. i sit at my computer and get back to work. like 10 minutes later i look across the room, outside our big windows into the parking lot and what do i see? THE BIG WHITE INSULATION VAN slowly creeping past the building! weird huh?! they're onto me...

September 9, 1701

ahoy, diary and all ye seaworthy folk. it is i, cabin boy, James Towne. Sorry for neglecting my diary for so long, but the crew and i have been through some rough adventures as of late. I believe last time i wrote, i was locked in the brig for letting my mind slip swabbing the upper deck. Now i'm free and cleaning once again. Currently, we're in the middle of the ocean, sailing by the stars. There's something about being alone with the entrancing sea at night time. However, I don't get to enjoy it much because they set my curfew round 9 o'clock, while the other lads stay up and do "pirate stuff."
speaking of pirates, i finally met Mr. Black Jack Davey, that scallywag. We were waiting in line for lunch when i bent over to lash my boots nice and tight, when i accidently bumped into his lunch tray, knocking it over. I'll never forget that look on his treacherous face. Through that big black bird, i could barely make out a scowl. He handled me by the collar of my shirt, dragging me upstairs onto the deck. "shall i keelhaul this landlubbin dog?!" he yelled to the other lads. they didn't have much of a reaction, cuz i'm not sure they knew who i was, plus i figured black jack davey didn't want to go through the trouble of tying a killick to me, then throwing me overboard, dragging me under the boat. So he just threw me overboard instead. 
 

today at work, i received the ultimate compliment from my boss. "you look like the meanest person in the world." she continued, "really, sometimes you look so intimidating. i'm afraid to ask you stuff!" i've stil got it.

p.s. just for the people who don't know me, i just look mean and sometimes act super cold and sarcastic. but deep down, i'm nice and friendly.

i have nothing to say, so i shall try to invent a colonial type poem on the spot. hope it works out.
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do you like my black hat with the belt?
it's rather comfy and is made of felt
i live with my friends by the shipyards
in the olden days, there were no cars
2 of the liberty's kids have left the gang
however, we were not hung out in the rain
we laugh and play and write all day
and crap i just turned this poem gay.
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well, there's always next time. how's everyone's week going?